We seem to be
most 'at home' with those we can label as members of our 'tribe'...
This means they have similar characteristics - background, age group and so on. This probably served a survival function in our early human days…these were the folks least likely to cook us for dinner…
This means they have similar characteristics - background, age group and so on. This probably served a survival function in our early human days…these were the folks least likely to cook us for dinner…
We appear to have
held onto the need to see those we associate with as similar to ourselves - no
matter what the evidence indicates.
So, isn't it
nice to think everyone is just like you?
Well, no - not
nice to them or to you!
As
counter-intuitive as it may sometimes seem, seeing people for who they really are is
actually a kindness.
None of us
likes feeling that we are disappointing others - and no one likes being
disillusioned, but when we don't see others clearly we are constantly
disappointed with the outcomes of our interactions.
DANCE WITH IT! EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to
experiment with some fun
ideas...
TRAINING YOUR INNER
EYE TO PERCEIVE DIFFERENCES
If we assume that
everyone is coming from the same - values, needs, personality, history - we are doomed to misunderstand
their behavior!
Check out the
following 4 steps to help your inner eye perceive differences:
LISTEN to their
words and stories. What are they telling
you? What are the underlying messages
about who they are?
WATCH how they
interact with others. Don't 'excuse'
(ie. 'erase') behavior that is different than yours.
REGISTER the impact
of their actions on others. What is this
telling you?
COMPARE with
honesty their values with yours.
Carol, when I read that you were going to list steps to help our "inner eye" see the differences between ourselves and others I was really excited, and you did not disappoint! Great tips. As I type this, the other half of my brain is using those steps to figure out some of the problem relationships in my life. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteJT