Most of us have, at one time of another, rebelled against most of the
'trite' social conventions that are part of our society.
We label them as ridiculous, silly and totally unnecessary… especially
the ones that are responses to life's ups and downs.
However, there is a really practical reason they exist. When the 'you know what' hits that fan we are
often clueless about how to respond! And
often because we don't know what to say or do we chose to do nothing.
And walk around after the fact feeling guilty!
Those formulaic responses are simple, elegant, and time tested. They let the other person know that you do
care without demanding that the recipient 'perform'!
DANCE WITH IT! EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to
experiment with some fun ideas…
K.I.S.S. or Keep it Simple, Sweetie!
There are three simple messages that go a
long way to comforting those suffering:
*I'm here
*I care
*If I can do something to help let me know
A simple way of putting it together is:
"I heard about __________. I
am so sorry. I am thinking about you and
if there is anything I can do to help please let me know"
But you ask, don't I have to make it more personal? Shouldn't I ask questions about what
happened? Shouldn't I share some of my
own experiences?
NO NO AND NO!
If the person you are talking to wants to talk more, or tell you more or
even hear about your experiences - LET THEM OPEN THAT DOOR, NOT YOU!
Otherwise, as well intentioned as you want to be, the recipient of your
outreach often feels invaded and exhausted by what is surely meant to be
kindness!
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