SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - EMOTIONAL FLOATERS

We all know about PTSD, a serious after-reaction to a truly traumatic event. read more

But, did you know that we often also have after effects from expected but painful, sad, or difficult life events? 

(Obviously, not to the same degree, and if you really feel you are over-reacting then it's a great opportunity to talk to a professional!)

We tend to expect that when a difficult event is over we move on cleanly with no residue.  

Because of this belief we often feel bad about ourselves when we continue to react some time after the event.

As a way of understanding what actually happens think about that after image we see following a camera flash - or perhaps the after shocks of an earthquake!

Very little in nature recovers immediately!

If we expect aftershocks they don't scare us and this actually can speed up recovery!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Think about some of the major difficult events in your life:

          An illness

          A break-up

          A failed dream

          A lost job

          A death of a loved one…

Now think about how long it actually took you to recover.

How did you define recovery? 

BOUNCE BACK

"What's the matter with me?"

"Why am I still feeling…"

"Shouldn't this be over by now?"

"Everyone says I should be over it!

Sound familiar?

What do ya say?

How quickly do you expect to bounce back from a set back? 

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - CURING THE WINTER BLUES

There is a big difference between temporary wipe-out and more serious depression.  

One difference is how long the feeling lasts and another is the intensity of the feeling. 

We can use a color test to check in with ourselves - Depression is BLACK while the blues are - well - BLUE!

Here are some easy distinctions from WebMD:

"Depression may be described as feeling sad, blue, unhappy, miserable, or down in the dumps. Most of us feel this way at one time or another for short periods.

Do you have symptoms of clinical depression? Sure, most of us feel sad, lonely, or depressed at times. And feeling depressed is a normal reaction to loss, life's struggles, or an injured self-esteem. 

But when these feelings become overwhelming and last for long periods of time, they can keep you from leading a normal, active life. That's when it's time to seek medical help."

read more

Remember:  Even our electronic devices run down if we don't re-charge the batteries. . .

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

BURNT OUT?  DOWN IN THE DUMPS?  CHECK THESE OUT:

If you recognize why you are feeling down:

          

          Tired?

          Worn out?

          Winter blues?

          Burning the candle at both ends?

You can avoid:

          

1.  Panicking about the feeling - "OMG what's wrong with me?"
2.  Taking it out on others by biting their heads off.
3.  Taking it out on yourself by triggering your Bully
4.  Doing non-productive things to try to feel better:  over eating, over drinking, over pushing… you know the rest of the list!
5.  Probably even that lurking cold that often follows...

And then you can take remedial measures:

          

          REST!

          Re think your schedule for the coming week

          Balance work and play/ people and alone time

          Maybe even - short term of course! -

          back off a little on all the electronics?

To explore any of these topics type a key word into the search field on the upper left of the Blog.

To comment just place your cursor over the word 'comments' (sometimes it says 'no comments') below. 

Remember we are also at:  www.thehumandance.com

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - RECOVERING FROM BETRAYAL

 Betrayal is the breaking or violation of a presumptive contract, trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship…Often betrayal is … a complete break from previously decided upon or presumed norms by one party from the others.   read more

Why is this such an insidious issue and why does it seem to be so deeply caustic?

One possible answer might be our response to betrayal:

"How could I be so stupid?"

And the often ensuing chorus from friends and family: 

"We always knew he/they/ it was bad news!"

So the torment of a broken promise is often highly intensified by the self- castigation that follows: 

"How could I miss what was going on?"

What would happen if we let ourselves off the hook on this one?

Which do you think creates more suffering - feeling it is our own fault, or feeling totally out of control if it isn't?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

RECOVERY FROM BETRAYAL

1)  Remember regardless of your imperfect judgment, what the other person did was THEIR CHOICE - NOT YOURS!

2)  Accept imperfection - yours and theirs.  See this as an opportunity to evolve - maybe some of your old beliefs could use revamping?

3)  Don't punish - LEARN!

Imagine you can watch a movie of this story.  Watch it the first time emotionally.  Get into it and enjoy the angst and suffering - (did I really say that?!)   

Now watch it the second time as an objective observer.  What do you see?

Be a detective and catch the clues that you might have missed when it was actually happening or, and this is equally important, see how easily these clues would be invisible to anyone!

4)  Forgive - yourself and them. 

You just learned something which makes you smarter than you were and opens new doors for the future!

5)  Make a choice about how you want to proceed.  You can choose to walk away, just remember, holding onto the injustices and betrayals weighs us down.  Allow yourself to fly!

To explore any of these topics type a key word into the search field on the upper left of the Blog.

To comment just place your cursor over the word 'comments' (sometimes it says 'no comments') below.

Remember we are also at:  www.thehumandance.com