Friday, October 24, 2014

GO FOR IT!

This week's posts about dialoging with our internal voices created a lot of comments… and questions. 

This one's a pretty typical example:

"I don't get how this talking to different parts of myself would make any difference!  Actually, it sounds pretty weird - but hey, I'm open-minded, so prove it to me!"

Okaaay…

Let's use the guy who commented above.  He was struggling with getting an exercise program going.  He knew he needed it, but he was seriously stuck.

Here's how talking to his inner 'voices' could help him get past stuck:

First, define the problem.  Here it is in his own words: 
"I need to exercise, I know I do, but let's face it, I'm just lazy…"

Now, let's check in with those voices:

Voice 1 is easy to find. It's the part of him that refuses to budge and has an easy answer:  "I'm lazy."

Voice 2 is always going to be the other side - in this case the part that wants him to exercise:  "But you have to do it!  Even the doc said so!"

Now the dialog begins.  It might go something like this:



Voice 1:  "You can't make me!  I won't do it!  Get off my case!"

Voice 2:  "I'm the boss.  I'm smarter than you and you have to do what I say!"

Voice 1:  "No I don't and I won't!"

CHOKE POINT, RIGHT?

Now, if we visualize these two parts, what might they look like?
How would their voices sound?
Exaggerate their images and sounds.
What happens?
Can you take them to the point of absurdity?

Usually, this gets us laughing and the next step is to negotiate some sort of deal.  There are lots of possibilities:

Bribes:  If you go to the gym, I'll…
Compromises:  How about one day a week?  How about 20 minutes?
And finally
Support:  Let's find a way we can both be happy.

You get the idea.  It's all about internal politics, right? 
You're looking to make friends with those opposing parts and get them working together instead of in opposition. 

It's actually easy, fun and most importantly guaranteed to create momentum - the antidote to those stuck places!


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