A THE RISK OF SOUNDING LIKE MY MOTHER…

Ever catch yourself unconsciously humming an old eerily familiar tune?

Your intonation, pitch and message have a strangely familiar ring and you get the willies as these sounds come out of your mouth?

"OMG you gasp!" 

"I am channeling my mother!"

What do ya say?

Ever do this? 

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - YOUR INNER CHEERLEADER

This is the part of us that always has our back.

It does not berate us.

It does not repeat the evil Bully mantras.

It does not buy into the woeful Victim cries.

It doesn't need to be a Rebel.

This is the realistic and loving voice that always is available to support our forward momentum, even when we seem to be sliding backwards! 

"Hang in there!"

"You can do it!"

"Pay attention to the good stuff!"

These are the mantras of our inner BFF.

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Think about some of the struggles you've had:

Health problems?

Challenging relationships?

Food, eating, weight?

Exercise?

Work?

Now ask yourself how you responded internally to these things.

Did you scold yourself?

Feel victimized by others?

Give up in a huff?

Or

Were you able to be your own BFF and bring out that cheerleader voice?

If not, imagine doing it now…

What happens?

WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN…

Get your inner cheerleader on!

Avoid nay-sayers - even when they seem sympathetic.

This is a time to believe 6 impossible things before breakfast!

Find the tiny improvements.

Look for those silver linings… millimeters count!

Hugs help…

Someone very wise, living in a senior facility put this beautifully:

"I don't remember much anymore…but…" and then she chuckled, "there are people here who remember less than I do…"

What do ya say?

You get this, right?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKIING - THE DARK SIDE

What is this 'schadenfreude' and what can we do about it?

It seems to be partly competition and partly a power play.  You know that old playground 'ha ha ha, ha ha'.

But there also seems to be a dollop of magical thinking connected to this… 

Were you ever told to eat your food because of the poor starving children someplace else?

Ever think about it?  

What were they really saying?

'Be grateful that you have it better than them?'  Or was it: 'Your bounty and their scarcity are connected'?

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Think about the last time someone - maybe inadvertently - took pleasure at your supposed discomfort.

Or the last time someone predicted something negative for you based on their own experience.

Were you able to step back and see this experience for what it was: someone else's stuff!

Go over those experiences now and remind yourself that what that person said, in reality, had nothing to do with you!

How does that feel?

DOOM AND GLOOM

"What is it," he asked, "that seems to give people so much pleasure in predicting bad things?"

"It was my birthday," he continued, "and I can not tell you how many people said, 'Oh, boy, it's all downhill from here!'"

"Shoot! I was only turning 40 but I swear they were into that schadenfreude thing, you know, gloating as they gave me a sympathetic pat on the back…" http://www.dictionary.com/browse/schadenfreude

What do ya say?

You don't do this to your friends, do you?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - KNEE JERK ALERT

Remember that expression 'knee-jerk reaction'?

When we create mandates - all those 'shoulds' - we often trigger that type of reaction.

There ae verbal triggers:  

you should, you have to, now, or else.

And non-verbal cues: time limits and drop dead dates.

We often unconsciously perceived all of these as unrealistic demands - and we respond with a resounding 'NO'!

Our 'no' can take two forms: we can rebel (it's not fair, you can't make me, don't push)

or

We can switch to our victim voice (I can't, it's too hard, I am suffering).

The interesting thing to realize is that both responses are attempts to push back what we are experiencing (realistic or not) as unhealthy demands.

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS                           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

Think of the last time you were in this position: reacting in opposition to an internal or external demand.

Can you imagine hearing that demanding voice now?

Try exaggerating it.

Visualize the demanding presence.  Give it a face (mean?) a color (red?)

Now become that voice.

Really get into it…

Now switch to the responder.

First play this part as a Rebel - again exaggerate and really get into it.

Now respond as the poor Victim.

What happens as you play this out?

THE WEIGHT LOSS CHA CHA

"What's wrong with me?" she asked in a truly pathetic voice.

"Every time I tell myself I am going to lose weight," she continued, "I gain it!"

"The minute the thought of a diet crosses my mind I start to CRAVE food!"

"Am I perverted, or what?!"

What do ya say?

Ever happen to you?

Know why?