At an actual flashing red light most of us are very
aware of the danger of proceeding. Car
crashes can be lethal!
Are we sometimes tempted? Sure but the potential consequences tend to mitigate
any forward momentum…
The interpersonal warning signs tend to be easier to
drive through.
We second guess our perception and chastise ourselves
for being too harsh.
And then, there's
that part of us that likes feeling that our own specialness makes us splatter
proof!
DANCE WITH IT! EXPERIENTIAL APPS
An opportunity to
experiment with some fun ideas…
MONDAY MORNING QUARTERBACKING
In personal
relationships, as long as we leave our Bully voices out of the equation,
re-hash sessions are actually useful!
FORMULA FOR A SUCCESSFUL RE-HASH:
1) Describe the 'crash to yourself.
Who were the people involved?
What happened?
How did you feel?
* angry
* hurt
* bewildered
* sad
* relieved
2) What warning signs did you ignore?
* what others told you
* general gossip
* your observation of this person
interacting with others
* subtle
hints in your own interactions with this person
3) What would have been the downside of
dealing with the warning signs at the time?
* feeling guilty
* feeling self critical
* losing your sense of specialness
* having to walk away instead of waiting
for the crash
* loneliness
WHAT WILL YOU DO
NEXT TIME?
