SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - TRANSFORMING RESISTANCE!

 (OOPS!  THIS WAS THE BACKEND OF THURSDAY'S POST - "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!"  I BET YOU WONDERED WHAT HAPPENED...)

So, what is the difference between stubborn, determined and driven?

One way of looking at it is that 'stubborn' is about resistance, using your energy to pull against something.  

It is the hallmark of our internal Rebel who constantly proclaims:  "No, I won't!"  often regardless of the consequences.

'Determined' connotes desire - "I will accomplish what I want!"

And finally…

'Driven' creates a picture of the inimical internal Bully chasing behind us with a whip yelling:  "You have to, or else!"

 

 

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

TWO EASY AND FUN STEPS TO TRANSFORM RESISTANCE

1)  AWARENESS - Check out who is there.

Is it your stubborn inner Rebel?  "No, I won't!"

Your pushy, driven Bully?  "You have to!"

or

Your centered, determined inner Ally?  "I want to and I can!"

2)  USE YOUR IMAGINATION - Talk to each of these parts of you. 

What would you like to say to your inner Rebel, that master of resistance?  And just as importantly what is that part of you saying to you?

And now for your Bully voice.  This part of us is really insidious.  It pretends to only be pushing us in our very best interest…

Think about that one!  Imagine you are walking down the street and someone sneaks up from behind you and gives you a really hard push… Hmmm…

And finally start creating and strengthening your Ally voice.  This is the 'Yes, you can!' part of you.  

Ever wish someone saw you exactly as you are - and believed in you anyhow?

check out our relaxation mini-meditations at 

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SUNDAY SMILES - "RAINDROPS KEEP FALLIN ON MY HEAD"

Inclement weather got you down?  

Too many rainy days in a row?

Check this out:

"A raindrop falls with enough force to kill a mosquito…(however)…when a mosquito is hit by a raindrop while flying, the insect typically does not try to resist the force of the raindrop and will instead ride the raindrop until being able to resume flying - usually unharmed…"

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What do ya say?

Think there might be some kind of lesson here?

To explore any of these topics type a key word into the search field on the upper left of the Blog.

To comment just place your cursor over the word 'comments' (sometimes it says 'no comments') below. 

Remember we are also at:  www.thehumandance.com

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - CAN YOU UNLOCK A HABIT?

Habits can be productive - gym, good eating, sleep schedule, studying - or destructive.  

Interestingly, any habit, whether it is healthy or destructive, creates a comfort zone for us - it is a behavior that we put on auto pilot.  It takes up time and space and creates structure in our lives.

In order to change we need a good reason that makes a strong argument - for us!  We also have to be ready to accept the disruption and emptiness that comes with the process of change.

The old belief of overlaying a new habit on top of an old one does not seem to work for humans. 

To make a successful change, we need to first let go of the old habit and create an empty space that the new one can then fill.

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

THE KEY TO UNLOCKING HABITS

First recognize that a habit is by definition a learned behavior that through repetition has created a strong neurological pathway - give yourself credit for taking the challenge of unlocking and erasing an established pattern!   If you expect it to be easy and free of pitfalls you are setting yourself up for failure - expect a demanding and intriguing path. 

Remember that habits create comfort - good and bad alike - when we remove the habit we create uneasiness at first.  The old comfort is gone and it takes awhile before new pathways are strongly imbedded.  Give yourself lots of cheerleading and support.

Remember also that transitions are difficult for humans.  We tend to take one step forward and a good few backwards as we go through this process.  Acknowledge the difficulty and hang in there.

Identify several very strong and valid reasons for making a change.  Not someone else's reasons - yours!  You need to have these reasons as anchors to help you through the process.

Expect and be ready for anger - from you!  This is called resistance and probably will come in the form of that Bully/Victim/Rebel triangle.  You know, your internal Bully voice scolding you about whatever it is you are trying to change, your answering internal Victim voice whining and claiming incompetence, and the Rebel in your raising that famous middle finger… When this dynamic starts, exaggerate it to the point of silliness and it will have no power to stop you!

Learn to tolerate emptiness - it is part of change.  Breathe into the empty spaces and pretend you are a renowned meditation master…

Celebrate change - allow yourself to experience the freedom that comes with release from a negative habit!

To explore any of these topics type a key word into the search field on the upper left of the Blog.

To comment just place your cursor over the word 'comments' (sometimes it says 'no comments') below. 

Remember we are also at:  www.thehumandance.com