SHHH… HANG IN THERE!

She asked me a question and I was quiet for a moment, letting my mind wander…

It's a lovely way to find answers.

But…

Ever notice how many people tend to panic when there's silence?

"Oh," she filled in quickly, "did you mean…"

What is it about silence that makes people feel such an intense need to fill in the blanks?

What do ya say?

Ever notice this one?

IS HE NUTS?

He kept telling me to 'calm down' and the more he said it the more agitated I got!

I mean, jeez, water was pouring out of the dishwasher all over the floor and the fire alarm was going off!

'CALM DOWN?!'

Was he medicated or something?

What do ya say?

How do you react when people tell you to cool it?

Really works, right?

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - ALLOW ALLOW

How have we gotten stuck on thinking of perfection as an attainable and stationary position rather than a direction?

Going back to the early philosophers we get definitions of 'perfectio' that include attaining a state where 'nothing could be better' and something that has 'attained its purpose'.  

It's interesting to think that both of these positions describe an end state… 

We know that people who get hooked on the need for perfection tend to have more issues with depression, anxiety, and eating disorders. 

Remember that beautiful Beatles song:  'LET IT BE' ...

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas…

This one is really easy!

Think of your 'cracks' - you know, the things that others have criticized in you and that have been part of your own 'not good enough' list.

Now, make a list of these attributes - both physical and emotional.

Next make a list of the things that you've 'done wrong' in your life.

NOW IMAGINE THESE TWO LISTS ARE YOUR OWN PRECIOUS AND PERSONAL LIFE LEARNING MANUAL!

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SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - SILENCE IS … WHAT?

So, what's wrong with a little silence?  Why do we need to fill in all the spaces?

People often answer:  anxiety! 

So, what does that have to do with not leaving open space in our conversations, on our walls, in our lives?

Think about it.  We fill in our conversations with unnecessary, gratuitous and often nonsensical sounds, our counters with clutter, the walls in our homes… and how about that constantly blaring tv in the background?

In ancient times people banged drums and created loud sounds to ward off the ever lurking demons…

Perhaps we are trying to ward off our own demons - those ever present, internal Bully voices that might jump into the silence with their incessant criticisms?

Here's an interesting thought:  Attorneys prepping their clients for depositions often advise them to count to ten before responding to any question, creating an easy method of not jumping into that tempting silence…

  

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

THE PRACTICE OF SILENCE…

Imagine yourself in a special, very safe room that has a 'No Criticism Allowed' rule.

The room is wonderfully peaceful and quiet - no auditory or visual clutter…

As you enter this room, feel yourself becoming light … knowing you are totally safe you begin to float … just enough to drop any weight… it's a very pleasurable feeling…

Breathe deeply and experience the pleasure of being so light… everything is clear … no clutter as you continue to breathe…

If anything intrudes - even a thought - try counting to ten - in rhythm with your breathing - in and out …

Spend a few minutes in this restorative space … it now belongs to you and you can return to its lightness as easily as taking a deep breath…

Allow yourself to return to your present moment feeling lighter and less cluttered…

Nice, right?

~To comment click below and let us know what you think ~

And for a quick meditation:                                                                                   

Http://tinyurl.com/minimeditations

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - THE ANXIETY OF CHOICES

If we had no choices we couldn't possibly make mistakes, right? 

In today's world we have a multitude of choices.  We also have a really destructive tendency to 'Sunday morning quarterback' ourselves about the past. 

"I shouldn't have…" is one of our most facile - and most destructive mantras!

Yes, today you might make a different decision - but that's partly because you actually learned from what ever happened yesterday!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

CAN WE ACTUALLY APPRECIATE OUR MISTAKES?

Take a moment to think about how you learned to ride a bike …

Was it seamless?

How many times did the bike wobble?

Did you ever fall?

Now think about how you learned to swim…

          Ever get a mouth full of water?

          Ever do a belly flop into the pool?

          Ever breathe in when you were supposed to breathe out?

Think about the results…

You probably learned to swim and ride a bike, right?

Remember, when you bully yourself about the past you create barriers to new learning!

Check out our new YouTube adventures coming soon!

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING – BEWARE THE GAP…

That ‘gap’ between here and there is where the monsters lurk! 

Being ‘here’ allows you to rehearse, practice – get prepared.

Being ‘there’ – when you’re not there yet – is a good formula for being terrified!

Part of being ‘there’ – in the future – comes with the admonitions and predictions of gloom that come from others. 

Why do people tell us these stories of gloom?  Maybe they really do think they are helping?  Maybe they feel that this is a way they can participate?  Maybe it helps them relieve their own tension?

Does it really matter? 

No one else can predict YOUR experience – unless YOU let them!

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun

ideas...

Want to stay in the present and not get ahead of yourself?

3 FUN AND EASY TRICKS

1)   Create comedy – divert your fears by  describing the worst case scenario – exaggerate it to the extent of outrageous!  You know, explosions, farts, all of those not to be mentioned things…

2)   Shut out the bully voice – it’s the part of you that is joining forces with all the warnings you’ve been getting.  Create an imaginary prison and lock your Bully in there.  Can you hear it pounding on the bars, trying to get out!  Let yourself feel smug!

3)   Distort reality – use your imagination to create images that take the heaviness out of the situation.  The old favorite of speech givers is the ‘naked guy in the audience’ image. 

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Coming soon:  Mini-Meditation Moments:   “Peak Performance”

www.oldladiesdance.com

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO FEEL LIKE THAT?

So this guy was talking about anxiety and waking up in the middle of the night and how awful it was.

“What would happen,” I asked him, “if you didn’t feel anxious?”

“What!” he demanded.  “But I woke up in the middle of the night and it was dark and…”

“Yeah,” I said, “and … what would happen if you didn’t stress about  it?”

“Well, but …” he sputtered. 
“I woke up in the middle of the night!"



“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way …”  Viktor Frankl


What do ya think?  Can you actually choose?

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CAN YOU RESIST GOING TO THE END OF THIS STORY?

Ever read a mystery book and the anxiety starts getting to you… and the next thing you know you skip to the end of the story?

Okay.  No more anxiety – you know who done it.  

But really, doesn’t it ruin the story?

Unfortunately, many of us deal with life this same way.  When the anxiety starts getting to us – especially when we’re dealing with life’s challenges, we often write the end of the story – way before its time!

For most people who do this, the endings they write are almost always disastrous!  If they are diagnosed with an illness, they are already writing their obituary, if they have a tough test to take, they’ve already failed, financial challenges have them living under that proverbial bridge… 

Why? 

Well, like skipping to the end of the book, the mystery is over!  No more hope – no more anxiety.  Just dread…

Hmm…

When you think about it, is this really a good trade-off?

What do ya think? 

Ever done this one?



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