SO IS THAT GUY NAKED?

"Well," he said talking about his sister, "she's obnoxious but you know, we all tolerate it… She's family and after all she just can't help herself…"

Really?

Why not?

Maybe, just maybe if someone cared enough about her to call it like it is, she'd wake up and realize that her behavior is seriously not okay.

Maybe she'd have one of those transformative moments.  It is possible, you know…

Remember the Emperor's New Clothes'?  read the story

What do ya say?

Do you really think you do someone a favor by letting them walk around with their 'you know what' hanging out?

To comment click below

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - THE ART OF DE-CLUTTERING

We've all heard about hoarders - people whose homes are so full of 'stuff' that you have to walk sideways to move around.

We humans do have a propensity to hold onto our stuff - a teddy bear from the crib, a corsage from that 9th grade prom, maybe a box or two of mementos. 

"But what," we ask about our physical clutter, "if at some point I need this stuff?"

Let's face it, if you haven't used or enjoyed an item in a given period of time - one month? - one year? - then it probably is a waste of space.  Sure in 20 years it might have a re-use, but think about all the ways you'll use that same space in those 20 years!

And what about all that emotional clutter - the remembered and stored hurts, insults and rebuffs from our entire life?

What do you think would happen if you let it all go?  Some of it?

With our emotional clutter, we ask:  "Isn't it dangerous to 'erase' this from our mental hard drive?  Don't those negative memories protect us?  If we eradicate them doesn't that mean we'll let the same thing happen again?"

Actually by processing and learning from what happened and THEN clearing that space in our mental storage bin we open ourselves up to new and different experiences.

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

DE-CLUTTERING 102

STEP I

Make a list of your stored and remembered:

Insults

Failures

Missteps

Mean people

Negative romantic experiences

STEP II

Process the experience.

Imagine that you can review each of these events in Technicolor.  Can you see some themes that emerge?

What happened?

Who did what to whom?

How did you react then?

How did you feel?

If the same event happened today how would you react?

How would you feel?

STEP III

If your reaction today to the same events is different from in the past, great!  You learned the lesson and you are ready to LET IT GO!

If your reaction would be the same today as in the past, take another look at that experience and sort out the learning- about you - that needs to evolve.

Step IV

Once you get the lesson - the learning for you in this old negative experience - you are ready to let it go!

Imagine you can watch the old experience in Technicolor.  Tune into the details and feelings.  Imagine that you could talk to that old you and offer some current advice and support.  What would you say? 

Now minimize the image from that past experience … so tiny that you see it disappear!

Take a deep breath and blow away any remaining negative crumbs. 

How do you feel after you do this?

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WAAAY PAST ITS PULL DATE!

Check out this story:

"We were getting ready to move," she said, "and the first thing we did was give away our prized possession - a grand piano that no one in our family had played for years."

"OMG!" she continued, "the entire space was transformed!"

"We held onto that piano way past the time anyone played it but… well… it never occurred to us to let it go…"

What do ya say?

What are you holding onto past its pull date?

To comment click below

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - BEAUTIFUL, WHAT?

Once upon a time, a wonderful anthropology professor named Ruth Krulfeld, told her class a tale of her time doing field work.

She was living on an island where a sign of beauty in women was a large gap where the front two teeth had been removed… Yikes!    

Or so she thought on arrival to that island…

However, as time went by - yup - that gap was looking better and better, until finally she decided to take the plunge!  After all, we all want to be perceived as beautiful...

Her field supervisor immediately ordered her back home.  She had obviously lost her scientific detachment.

A rather extreme story, right?

But think about it.

How many of the ideals of beauty that we take for granted would be seen as truly bizarre to that oft referenced space alien who suddenly dropped into our culture?

Perhaps we need to re think our cultural absolutes? 

After all, who determines what is beautiful?

(The message of this story was Dr. Krulfeld's, any mistakes in the re-telling are mine!)

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

Take a minute to think of the beliefs and standards about beauty you take for granted:

*Shape of body or face

*Skin color

*Height

*Age

*Style of dress…

And that's only a tiny part of the things we are indoctrinated to see as cultural ideals…

Can you expand your ideal of beauty?

As a fascinating experiment, imagine seeing every person you come into contact with today as beautiful. 

What happens as you experiment with this?

To comment click below

IN THE EYES OF THE BEHOLDERS…

Two people were sitting side by side at the train station.

He was a businessman.  She was a Cultural Anthropologist.  They didn't know each other.

A woman walked past wheeling an adorable toddler in a stroller.  

The woman's hand was out, asking for money.

"Humph!" the businessman growled.

"They are parasites on society!  She makes hundreds a day!"

"Wow!" the Anthropologist exclaimed.  "How resourceful!"

Hmmm…

And then there's the thing about black cats… You know how everyone says they're bad luck?  Well, check this out:

'Black cats are lucky: the gene giving them a dark coat makes them less
susceptible to disease than light-colored cats.

Black cats have been associated with bad luck in some Western cultures.

There isn't one specific reason for this belief, but it seems to be a combination of folklore and superstition beginning in     the Middle Ages.'
read more

What do ya say?

Could the world possibly be as diverse as the eyes of the beholders?

To comment click below

SERIOUSLY SPEAKING - DEALING WITH GRIEF

Grief is a natural and normal response to loss.  When we grieve we experience a deep and poignant distress - the loss of someone we needed, wanted and expected to be with us.

All of us experience loss throughout our lifetimes.  Death of a loved one is the most obvious, but loss also comes at many of our life transitions:  growing up, moving, losing friends and pets, and even loss of ideals and deeply held beliefs.

In all of these situations, to a lesser or deeper degree we humans go through some very predictable steps in dealing with bereavement.

The first step in this process is the shock that comes with something so difficult.  In this stage we might feel numb and even sometimes an unreal sense of denial - that head shaking, 'how could this possibly be' feeling.

The next stage we go through is a deep awareness of the loss and all the repercussions connected to it.  This is the period when we can be overwhelmed by an onslaught of feelings that might include a wide spectrum from anger to sadness.

And finally we come to the time of healing and renewal or recovery.

In reality all of these stages intermix.  The sequence from that initial sense of shock, through awareness to recovery is a general pattern of bereavement, but we might still be experiencing some shock even though we are in the awareness phase.

It is important to remember that recovery is natural.  It does not signify disrespect - just the opposite, appreciating life is a tribute to our loss. 

Healing is natural to humans - we do not forget, but we do heal.

DANCE WITH IT!   EXPERIENTIAL APPS           

An opportunity to experiment with some fun ideas...

REMEMBER:

There is a difference between avoiding our feelings and coping with them!

We need coping strategies, not avoidance strategies!

Give yourself permission to have your own feelings!

No one else can tell you what, or how, or how long to experience what you are feeling!

Feeling - at our own pace - helps us heal.

Of course you can be sad, angry, lonely, empty, needy!  It is natural to feel these things!

And really, it's okay to correct those well-meaning people who say truly stupid, albeit well intentioned things… we've all heard them, and maybe even said them ourselves…

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INEVITABLE ENDINGS...

We were gone last week because of a death in our family - something that we all face in our lifetimes.  



There are many ways to deal with loss and it is something that all humans struggle with... we want to approach this state with dignity and grace... 

some days we succeed more so than others...  

We would like to share one of our favorite quotes about death:

"An awareness and understanding of death raises our state of life.  When we are cognizant of the reality and inevitability of death we begin to seek the eternal, and become determined to make the most valuable use of each moment of life."
                                                                          read more thoughts on loss and death

and another...

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